So Many Questions I Will Try To Answer

There wasn't really a good picture for this, so how about Renee drinking a cider? Sounds good, right? I'll get better, I promise.

There wasn't really a good picture for this, so how about Renee drinking a cider? Sounds good, right? I'll get better, I promise.

So we'll start with an apology. I jumped the gun and decided to begin telling my story the night before I quit my job, instead of beginning with some sort of trite story about our first flight from New York to London. Here is a hypothetical snippet of said hypothetical story:

"She was nervous. Not for the months to come, but simply for the minutes: the takeoff of our first international flight was bumpy. There wasn't enough Xanax in her purse to keep her from yelping when one of the overhead compartments burst open, spilling our Tortuga backpacks into the aisle. As the bell tolled to alert us that we had reached our cruising altitude, the ride became smoother. She looked at me. I looked at her. We were off, and there were clear skies ahead."

I have to apologize for not giving you that moment (although we may get there in about six weeks), and for leaving you wondering what has been happening for seventeen days, so let me give you a synopsis. 

I quit. The discussions happened quickly and were relatively painless. The reactions were, and continue to be some amalgamation of the following questions and statements:  "What!? Where are you going? When are you leaving? Where are you going to stay? You're going to be gone for how long? Did you get your shots?  Holy shit, I am so jealous.  I wish I could do that!" So let's answer those questions one by one, for both the folks asking me constantly at work (I'm looking at you, Keisha James) and for the readers at home. 

Where are you going?

I mentioned in the last post  that we are constantly changing our plans, and that is not going to change, I'd imagine that some destinations on this list will remain seen only on Pinterest and guidebooks, but here is the list as it stands right-- WAIT. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the monologue I've borderline memorized:

"Well, we're going to start in Europe, London to be exact, and then we're going to do two and a half months in Europe, then three months in Africa. Then we're coming back to the States for my brother-in-law's wedding, and hopping to South America, Southeast Asia, and India. Then we'll see how much money we have left or if we hate each other and decide from there."

After this, they usually move on to the next question on the list, or simply walk away.  But you can't walk away, you can only click over to Wanderlust or Nomadic Matt or someone who can tell you the Top Four Can't Miss Beaches in Croatia. If you haven't yet, here is our tentative itinerary as it stands today:

Not as foggy as I've heard in the past.


  • London
  • Amsterdam
  • Brussels
  • Bruges
  • Paris
  • Marrakesh
  • Fez
  • Casablanca
  • Venice
  • Ljublana
  • Bled


  • Venice 
  • Florence
  • Cinque Terre
  • Bari
  • Lecce
  • Catanzaro
  • Malta
  • Sicily
  • Amalfi Coast
  • Naples
  • Rome
  • Cairo
  • Luxor
  • Nile Cruise
  • Abu Simbel
  • Kenya
  • Uganda
  • Rwanda
  • Tanzania
  • Zanzibar
  • Malawi
  • ZImbabwe
  • Zambia
  • South Africa
  • Sarasota, Florida
All the stops can't be gems.

All the stops can't be gems.

This should last us until October, when we'll take a small breather in the States at a wedding and make our plans for the second half of the trip. Questions? Are we missing something awesome? Let me know on Twitter @joshkleinrules

When are you leaving?

We are leaving our home in New York City February 29 (Taking a LEAP on LEAP DAY SOMEONE CREATE A PINTEREST BOARD ABOUT US), taking a month to prepare and spend time with family, and our flight to London, the only flight we've booked, leaves April 11. We will be back in the States October 14th.

Where are you going to stay?

We'll be bouncing between many different types of accommodations, all according to what fits our budget the best. In Europe, AirBnB seems to be the cheapest option in most cities, and Africa seems to be mostly hostels and even some hotels; South America, Southeast Asia, and India seems as if it will mostly be hostels. We've been spending the past few months accumulating what can only be described as a gang of points (more to come on that in a future post), so we will use those as we see fit to get some pampering when we need it. I'm looking at you Le Meridien with a view of the Pyramids.   A lot of our time in Africa will be spent camping on an extended overland tour, which is where most people say "OH LORD I WOULD NOT WANT TO DO THAT." 

You're going to be gone for how long?

We'll be leaving April 11 and our plan is to return in April of 2017. We reserve the right to come back earlier if we run out of money or if the Panthers are in the Super Bowl again.

Did you get your shots?

Sure did. Meningitis, All the Hepatitises, Yellow Fever, Polio, Japanese Encephalitis, and we have three months worth of malaria medication ready to roll. Oh, and my doctor fooled me into the flu vaccine as well. So I'm all set when I ride the M15 down to Chinatown.

Holy Shit, I'm So Jealous! I Wish I Could Do That!

You can. Just get out there and live. Unless you have kids. Then just read this blog and be jealous. 

Anyway, tl;dr version of this post: We're still in New York. Next post will be from our first stop on our world tour: Earleville, Maryland.